Retreat talks, grieving process and more

Besides going to Bible Study this morning (Beth Moore's Breaking Free) I have pretty much sat in the pink room working on retreat talks. I've gotten somewhere definetely, but I still have a ways to go. I've got talk #2 about 2/3 done I would say and the outline is there, I just need to fill in some more content. Talk #3 is still a struggle somewhat. I want it to be exhortative and challenging and hopeful. I found a devotional online actually and I may read that and then springboard from there. These retreat talks have taken me longer than ever this year. Just with my situation, the topic I was given and then being sick - now for two weeks - it's just seems like it's been very laborious to pull them together! They are coming though although when I think that in 48 hours they need to be done I get a little freaked out! I hope my concentration tomorrow lasts for 8 hours like it did today. It needs too!

The meds for my sinus infection do not seem to be working. I can't say that I'm surprised, actually. I knew going in that it was a very bad infection. I'm hoping that tonight I'll turn the corner, especially when the doc told me not to come back until next week if I wasn't feeling improvement. That is TOO LONG in my book to wait for medicine that will work. The pain is almost intolerable at times.

Layth worked late tonight again. He missed all the trains like he did last night. In fact, I was getting worried about him. I usually talk to him sometime around 5pm; I'll call or he does. I didn't hear from him and so started calling about 5:30 or so and no answer. Called at 6:00 and no answer. Called at 6:20 and no answer. Texted at 6:45 and no reply. Finally, just before 7:00 he called! He'd been in a meeting since 4:30. So, he got on the first bus he could and got home at 8:30 tonight. I appears it will be that way for the next week and a half. Boy will i be ready for Cabo when it comes! I can hardly wait to spend some time with my man... it has been waaaaay too long!

Had a great talk with my mom this evening. Told her about all my thoughts regarding our friends in Salem and all that and she did a great job of listening. It was nice to verbalize it. She suggested that I look at Salem as a long season of life (a good one!), realize that season is over, and then set myself forward for whatever the next season will bring. She's probably right, but it's easier said than done. She said that too in fact!

I think I'm going through the grieving process though with this move. I realized it last night very late (no, I didn't go to bed right after I blogged, I was up for another hour or more!) when I got really angry at the whole idea of the SNG group. I was angry with the group because it was making the move so hard and it was their fault... and then I realized that anger is part of the grieving process when losing something or letting go... a loss. It makes sense. I've gone through the mourning, I had the anger... I can't remember what else there is. I should, I used to have it memorized in college. Anyways, it totally took me by surprise, but I am letting go of it and it is a huge loss in my life. It makes sense that I would run the full gamet of emotions.

Keiton is into telling jokes... well, kind-of jokes. They are made up ones, by a three year old if that gives you some idea and they can run on and on and on! But, they are cute and I love to see him smile and laugh at himself.

Soren is reading better and better and that is something else I love to listen to. I love to sit down with him and his books he brings home from school and listen to him read them as well as "get them". I love to hear him laugh at the stories and ask questions about what's going on. He is a joy!

I'm going to go print out my talks now and look over them and make notes so until next time...

--Betsy